I wanted to write something about clamping, because I am aware I do it a lot, and I tweet it a fair bit – pics of me clamped up, in adjustable clamps with a chain between. I’m not doing this to justify myself, but to explain why and what it does. Because I don’t know if this what most people do or not; I imagine that most clamps are probably sold to be used in sex by couples, by either partner.
So here’s how it works for me. I find that just as sometimes you get build up of horniness, which you want to relieve by sex or wanking (unless you want to enjoy the denial), I get a build up of – well, I don’t know what it is. I know I have a kink for pain, and it’s like a sexual frustration and clamping is the closest I can come to wanking. It’s a release – those good feelz when the clamps dig in.
I always like to overthink and overanalyse things because, hey, it’s what I do. But there is a part of me that worries this sounds remarkably like self-harming, cutting – that idea of pain releasing something. And I think it’s good to have an awareness of this, because I imagine it can, potentially, escalate, if I let it.
But there is also a sexy about it that makes it different from self-harming; I like the feel of them on my body and the way the chain hangs. Actually, unless you put them on full setting, you don’t notice them after 5 minutes or so – and I don’t put them on full clamp, because it would be over too quickly before it became too much – I like the slow release of tension.
So what is the feeling or the buzz I get? It’s like it slows me down – when I feel a bit needy for the pain, I get a little hyper (what I used to call Giddy Kipper when I was with my former Domme – excitable, slightly bratty in D/s terms), like I’ve got a nervous energy – I can’t sit still. I’m a little manic. Putting those clamps on just is like a brake. The pinching just restrains me and grounds me – like earthing an appliance.
Sometimes it makes me a bit horny but other times it just takes the edge off and allows me to calm down. Although it seems related to and like sexual urges, there doesn’t seem to be a direct link to horniness levels. I can be horny and not want clamping and vice versa.
I’m still exploring it, tbh, and I find it goes in phases. Right now I feel ‘pinchy’ quite a lot of the time. But I am sure it will pass into a non-pinchy phase – and I’m going to look out for any patterns I can spot. Because I find my kinks are all about self-learning – about both my body and my mind, and what they both need.