They say the greatest sexual organ is the human brain, and anyone who’s done a Long Distance Relationship (LDR) knows the truth of that. Where screen to screen replaces skin on skin, the mind must create the palaces where the senses can feast. And the greatest gift you can give your partner is your imagination.
On Wednesday, Miss and I were scheduled to enjoy a Skype call without any interruptions. She was feeling ‘top end Domme’ (she’ll tell me, day-to-day, how strict she is feeling, as these things tend to be on a spectrum rather than a binary). Uh oh. That meant pain for me for her pleasure, as she gave me the list of things I was to bring. So I was knelt, naked bar my collar, as we dialled in.
In the end, it was blogworthy for the example it provided of how you have to create your D/s across the distance, because rarely does everything happen as you planned: technology, events, real life and the human body can all conspire to skew things, as they can for everything. On this occasion, though Her ardour was not dampened, an oppressive migrane caused by climatic change was preventing Violet from looking at a screen. This was going to have to be a four-sense occasion.
LDR not only teaches you how to cope with these little inconveniences (and how not to blow them out of proportion) but, actually, how to engage positively with shifting conditions to make something new out of the unexpected. We’ve done voice-only play before, so I shut off my eyes and became alive to feeling the flow through her voice, the words landing like impact play, my fingers as her surrogate to deliver her demands and just my voice to feedback the effects.
To give added intensity to the session, Miss likes often to focus attention on just one area and press my resolve until I break and she can gather me to rebuild. Today was only about CBT, so with my cock and balls cinched by my own necktie and pumped until its swollen, ridged surface was like an overflowed candle in a gothic mansion. By narrowing the focus down, it seems to bring an intense intimacy despite the distance; a small area of my body is primed in response to her commands that seem to wash over me like a balm. The headphones reinforce the feeling of her being inside me. It also makes her super sensitive to every aspect of my breathing and every noise I make. I become acutely aware of the literal significance of every utterance – the signal it makes and how it guides her response. Suddenly the world is shut off and we are cocooned in a bubble of our own responses.
My bristling skin is now supersensitive, and we begin the process of driving me to the edge of endurance. Miss likes a technique of alternating between not enough and too much; teasing me to the point of desperation and then making me touch the sensitive areas – cock head, frenulum – with hard rubbing to push through any pleasure into pain.
What is often a disadvantage of the LDR – the lack of physical presence – we have also learned to turn to our advantage: because I have to administer this myself, under strict control and dominance, resistance must be broken hard. The natural response to pain is to stop doing whatever is causing it, but here it is what we want. When you are bound and at the mercy of a D you can simply focus on managing the pain and finding the sub space. When it is self administered, you must overcome your own instincts to stop, to break your own mind yourself and trust Miss to gather the pieces after. As your mind seeks to detach itself from the pain into that special place, the body also seeks to detach itself too – to become a relentless, mechanised tool, an extension of the D, which reinforces the separation. This duality of separation gives an edge to the intensity of the D’s requests and the s’s submission.
By the end, whether I come or not is almost beside the point. I’m curled, whispering into a microphone, tears and snot smearing my face and whimpering pleas. I am both here and not here, I am almost not in my body. There’s almost no sense of any physical sensations just a voice that I cling to, a rope that suspends me above a chasm as I drift into the deliverance of Her.
I have no idea how long this has taken. I am in a timeless state as her voice nurses me back to the world. The sluggishness gives way to a sudden tremendous rejuvenation – I am suddenly aware of how ravenously hungry I am, how intensely I see and feel things, and how wonderfully in thrall I am to Her.
I dress as we say our goodbyes, and I go looking for the world’s biggest pizza. Centred, comfortable, incredibly aware of my own physical self and the renewed inner confidence. I am loved, owned and given over to Her and I will eat like it’s my final meal.